a dialogue

Radio Talk Show Host(R): Hello, everybody! Welcome to our show. We'll be taking calls and.. what do you know we already have a caller.. Hello, Sir! How are you doing?
General Dude(D): Hello! This is J here from M. I am doing good. How about you?
R: Great! I am doing great! So J, tell me, how do you like our show?
D: I love it. I listen to it everyday on my way back home.
R: Wonderful! But mind the traffic, huh! We don't want you causing accidents while you are learning about life, hahaha.
D: Hahahaha.
R: So tell me how is life? I hope it is smooth.
D: Its pretty good. But I have this problem with my wife. I know its not a big deal but it worries me sometimes.
R: I must think it is not a big deal, J. Tell me about it. Let us see if we can solve it together.
D: I am not complaining about her. I mean she has always been a great wife. But she has, you know, she thinks she is really smart and sometimes she acts like, you know, one of them geniuses or something, totally wacky and weird.
R: And what makes you think that?
D: I am not bitching man, but, and I know its all a woman's thing, you know them hormones and all and they act up every now and then you know, but she just flips out sometimes.
R: You mean she goes into a rage or something. How old is she, by the way, if you don't mind me asking?
D: Not at all man. She's 24. And its not rage man. Its just acting strange. Saying strange things.
R: Tell me more about it, J. What does she say? And how often does she get this way?
D: Once every few days, man. I dont know I havent kept track. Maybe I'll keep a diary from now on.
R: That might be a good idea, J. But what does she say?
D: Its like, when I enter the door, one moment she says the nicest darned things like "Hey, you Einstein, thanks for leaving me at the mall" and I'm like God I escaped the treatment after forgetting to pick her up. And then she flips out suddenly and calls me all kind of names. I mean I can understand she must be angry but why does she have to seem all sweet one moment and flip out the next. I mean, is it some kind of madness or something?
R: Oh my God!(laughing)Oh my!
D: Is it serious, man? Do you think its really bad? I don't want to say it, but is she mad or something? 'Coz I love her and all, man.
R: No, J. Its called sarcasm. She's being sarcastic, thats all. Nothing wrong with her.(laughing).
D: Whatever it is man, is this thing serious? I suppose its one of them women things so do I take her to the doc or what?
R: No, J. You don't take her to the doctor. And its not a woman thing. Tell me, how educated are you?
D: I only went to Junior High, man. Dropped out after that. So I dont know what this sarcasm thing is. But if its not a woman thing, does it spread or something like the flu? I sure dont want to catch it.
R: No, J. Sarcasm isn't a disease. It is just a way of expressing anger or annoyance by pretending to say a nice thing when you actually mean to hurt.
D: Yea, I get it man. But then why does it come only sudden sudden you know. She's all quite normal most of the time and then suddenly she wants to say this sarcasm thing. Is it like the periods or something, a woman thing?
R: No, J. It is used when people are really mad at you and don't want to yell or use bad words. It is just a way of showing you up, embarrassing you by pretending to be nice. And both men and women use it. It is not a woman's thing. Dude, you seriously need to learn a lot.
D: Whatever, man. I don't use it ever. I mean I say what I have to say and I don't do all this you know. She just is spoiled and keeps pointing out that she dropped out of college and not out of junior high you know.
R: Maybe she just wants you to sit down and have a talk with her, J. Tell her to speak straight. Tell her you don't get all her sarcasm. Tell her you love her and want her to be honest with you.
D: I tried that man. And she said thats my problem. I just dont get it. What the it is I have no idea man.
R: Well, J, I suppose you can work it out over time. Just remember that when a person is being sarcastic, they use signs like lifting their eyebrows or modifying their tone or small things like that to say they do not mean what they say. Often you have to do the opposite of what you think the words mean when such things happen.
D: Right man. I seen that. I guess you being the guru and all you can say easily when someone's lying or passing you shit. Anyways thanks man. I'll remember what you said.
R: No problem, J. And do try and sit down with your wife and tell her to be honest and direct with you. And take some classes in your community college if you can, man. It helps really, you know, education does.
D: Thanks, man. I'll remember what you said. Goodbye.
R: Goodbye, J. And have a pleasant life... And so we move on to our next caller.. Its from P... Hello sir! How have you been today?