Chronicles of the Great War, Or: How We are all Had, Then Forgotten, and Then Had Again

"Show me, O Muse! the great things that be
In the inmost caverns of bottomless thine sea
Where hidest thou from me what I most yearn to see -
Thee!"
"The answer, mate, is Forty-two"
"What, pray?"
"Shut the f*** up and let me sleep"

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The times are hard when people have to look back to the past for Hope and all that can inspire is buried in the cavernous deeps of Myth and Legend; much more so when they have to do it on empty stomachs and on the orders of their masters. But the Great War was not myth nor legend nor were the great kings and soldiers who fought in it mere figments of a master-storyteller's imagination. They were more real indeed than what we are now in these pitiful times and they will be too when we give way to others who may be no better than us. What is myth and legend is what has survived of that Truth in its countless retellings, as a shroud well-used is worn away in time and bears merely the superficial imprints of a hundred masters it cloaked. But as every image of the Sol partakes atleast in part of its heat and light and perfection, each myth and legend though no more than story, contains the essence that is the Universal Truth of the Great War, its Causes and Consequences, shaping the World as we know it today. All this being merely apologous with respect to the present treatment of the great subject matter, in a word, to end with all prology and, To get on with the story,

In his thirteenth year after assuming Supreme Control of the Great Zones(Mandalas in some ancient tongues), the Great King was faced with a terrible question - that ancient problem in Philosophy: How to achieve Maximum Gain with Minimum Risk. It was trying enough to manufacture gain when needs and desires were greater than the means most people possessed; but to avoid risk - that was just about impossible. This of course is inconceivable today when we have the Great Machines and the Great Mechanics but we talk not of Today but of the Lost Times and, To understand this History, one needs to understand the world the Great King and his people(and also those who were not his people) lived in. For it is easy to forget that these were not the same people we are today nor was their world the same; their culture and their economics was different and so were their actions based on their particular beliefs and ideas. But, of course, little is known about it all and so we will continue inspite of all who dissent and split hairs. For it is easy to forget that these were people too and related to us not merely in their being Men but, even more intimately, for they made us and shaped us, both causally and creatively.

Anyways, the Great King had this problem and so he summoned his people from out everywhere and decided to tell them to bugger off to the different lands that were about and around and outside of his control where people lived who cared no two hoots for him and get them all to accept that what they were doing was all wrong and to give him what little they had and get from him nothing so his people could have more in the sense that they could have something atleast from these other folks and he could get them to thank him for having brought in something from the cold where no man had cared to venture before and if these people decided not to come in all quiet and hands tied or up or whichever way was good, he could bring them his fire and brimstone and all of that and let them have it real bad and then his people will be happy for they have a great leader.

Now these folks were pretty smart and knew which way was which and said to our King's people they would not come unless they got something in return like all those other people who had come in earlier to be subjects and get something more out of it than merely being called Citizens of the Great Free Zones or whatever and this made our King go all purple, then white, then blue, finally red and he said they were all a pack of thieves and liars and robbers and what-not, which upset some of these people, who were really liars and robbers and what-else-not and they went to War.

The Great War began. It was bad at first. Lots of people were killed. Then fewer people were left. So not many were killed. There were Heroes on all sides. And many villains. The Great Zones were hit hard. The outer lands were hit even harder. People started praying again. They started trusting in Science again. And built up Laboratories to the Gods. Where they shredded pigs and cheese. It helped them understand. They made better weapons to kill more effectively. They made Laws once more and followed them. And learnt new meanings of words and so Languages multiplied. New books were written so moths and bookworms multiplied. New Colleges were built and so many things multiplied. And there was plenty again. Not many people left though.

The King saw all this. He was happy for sometime, then sad. Things were not going either way. His problem was not getting solved. But he was a good King. He wanted his people to be happy. Atleast when he forgot that that was not what he wanted. He also had a bad memory and some bad teeth. And so soon he forgot his problem and saw that his people were happy. The other people were happy too sometimes. The Great War was making things multiply. There were fewer sad people everywhere. Nobody wanted to kill his neighbour or riot on Sundays. And he was becoming very famous. So he led his people on and fought a long long War. Nobody knows how long it lasted.

But as all things do, it came to an end - hopefully. And we all know the answer to the riddle - the fox burying his grandmother under the holly bush.